Love and Loneliness
by Angelic Pretty
Summary: William drastically changed for the worst when he came back from Lyoko. He gets ignored by his former best friends and totally heartbroken by the love of his life, Yumi for what he did. Because of this, he grows to hate himself and isn't the same. But one night, he has a run in with Kandadara (who likes him) and over time she changes his life forever.
1. Heartbreak

**********Okay, here I am with another Code Lyoko fanfiction **starring William Dunbar in his sexy glory. I've been working hard on this story as well as a few others! Hope you like!

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Chapter 1: Heartbreak

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William Dunbar stood outside the grounds of Kadic Academy by himself. He looked at the surroundings and he saw everything suited his solemn mood. It was nighttime but the sky was filled with dark clouds like a void of blackness, the wind became icy to where it was painful like a stab to a vital organ, it was so cold like a resentful hatred, and it aura about him was like an eternal depression. There wasn't a soul in sight, leaving him all alone. Everyone else was snugged up in bed, warm and asleep, but he was walking about on a winters night. Nevertheless, he walked on into the night. He walked until he found a bench and sat down. A moment after he sat down, the rain began falling hard. He was getting soaked, but he didn't care. As the rain hit his face, it felt like needles stinging his skin. The rain slid down his cheeks as if they were his own tears. He clenched his teeth, gripped his shit with his hands, and his head went down. Tears were attempting to fall, but he still made a valiant effort to hide them from the outside world. "The rain is the tears I can't cry." He softly said to himself.  
The past few days had been agonizing for him. A few days ago, he returned back to Earth after a few months of him being possessed by XANA on Lyoko against his own will. When he first returned, he was in almost in a daze and in a blur, unaware of how much time had passed. Oh how he wished that he had stayed in that delusion. But the reality came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks.  
It all came back to him. He remembered going to Lyoko for the first time with Aelita on a mission to protect the core of Lyoko. He then got separated from her and then monster appeared, attacking him. He later learned that due to his arrogance, he got possessed by XANA and was gone for months. While he was possessed he had tried to kill his friends several times. In order not to cause suspicion, Jeremie had to make a clone of him, but that clone ended up being retarded. Because of that clone, his parents ended up really worrying about him because he wasn't the same William. It also made his classmates question his sanity and became subjected to bullying. Everyone started to push him away.  
Every night, nightmares of the times he was possessed by XANA haunted him like a demon. There were nights where he'd even wake up crying softly to himself. But he'd never admit that to anyone.  
But worst of all. he was told by Yumi that he couldn't be trusted anymore and then they all began ignoring him. He was rejected by the love of his live and all the gang did was ignore him.  
To them, he was no more than an annoyance. Like a thorn in your side that you couldn't pull out.  
William would hear Ulrich talking to the gang about how he screwed up royally. Ulrich talked so much shit about him that made him want to punch Ulrich's lights out. They hated each other from the get go.  
Odd did the same thing as Ulrich did, but he made jokes about it instead. William thought Odd wasn't really that of a bad guy, but he was one hell of a knucklehead.  
Jeremie seemed neutral and he never said a word. But William could tell Jeremie secretly didn't like him.  
Aelita seemed like she still wanted to William's friend and she felt sympathy for him. But he didn't know what to make of that.  
But of course, it was the rejection by Yumi that hurt the most of all. She was the love of his life, but she left him in the dust. He loved her with all of his heart, but he felt like she tossed him aside like trash.  
He knew very well that his overconfidence is what screwed him over. But he didn't think that things would have taken such a bad turn.  
It hurt him more than words could say.  
But the only person he could blame was himself. Or so he felt.  
"Excuse me, William, but what are doing out in this?" A female voice asked softly, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
He turned to see a girl with very pale skin, long black hair that reached to the end of her back styled half up-half down style that looked like the midnight, dark blue eyes that held so much sadness within the night, a curvy hourglass figure, a dark blue knee-length dress with a matching ribbon tied in her hair, and she was drenched by water because she carried no umbrella. William recognized this girl to be none other than Kandadara.  
To him and everyone else at Kadic, she was a girl shrouded in mystery. No one knew anything about her whatsoever. She was the very definition of darkness.  
William only knew a little about Kandadara. She was negative, pessimistic, sad, depressed, withdrawn, mysterious, secretive, dark, and misunderstood by nature. But she was also was sweeter and kinder than anyone he knew, even to the point to where she was a doormat.  
But he could tell that she held a lot of sadness and secrets locked away deep in her heart. No one else could see who she really is. Everyone else at Kadic thought she was evil, but she was just the very opposite. She was a very good person. William was well aware of that.  
William eyed her eyes closely, trying to read what she thinking. After all, the eyes were the window to the soul. Their eyes met only for a moment, but she nervously looked away from him. A rosy blush crept across her face and she started fidgeting with her clothes. In that moment he looked into her dark blue eyes, he saw a great sadness. A sadness that even he couldn't understand. William said in a serious tone, "I could ask you the same thing."  
Kandadara didn't make any eye contact with him at all, making William wonder about what she had on her mind. She said, sounding unsure of what to say, "I suppose you could..."  
This was one of the days where William didn't want to be bothered by anyone. He was heartbroken and devastated. He couldn't bear the thought of getting getting close to anyone at this point in time. Being the stubborn guy he was, he wanted to deal with the burden alone.  
So he decided to push her (as well everyone else) away in any and every way he could.  
"So what do you want?" He asked, sounding really annoyed.  
For a few moments, there was no words spoken. The atmosphere became almost unbearably awkward. The awkward silence almost intimidated her.  
Unable to stand it, she forced herself to say something. She said gently, "I just wanted to see if you were okay..." But of course, all she had to do was see the expression on his face and his dark aura to know her answer. She knew that answer to that in a heartbeat.  
He had changed drastically over the course of a few months. When they first met, she was instantly attracted to how handsome he was. She later learned his personality was just as good as his looks. He was sweet, kind, romantic, mysterious, charismatic, a little rebellious, and a sexy bad boy. Out of any guy at Kadic, he was the kindest to her. He encouraged her, comforted her when she was down, and stood up for her. He made her blush fire when he was near her. He made her heart beat faster and harder when he merely passed by her. When he comes around, she always got butterflies in her stomach. Just thinking about him made her happy. She felt like he was the light in her darkness. Over the months, she slowly began to fall in love with him.  
Kandadara knew he loved Yumi, much to her distaste, but she could see that Yumi didn't feel the same way about him. Yumi likes Ulrich and Ulrich likes Yumi, this was a given. In fact, everyone in Kadic knows that they're totally in love, but they don't seem to see that they like each other.  
At first, Yumi seemed to like his company and it even seemed like she liked him. But of course, when Ulrich came into play, Yumi began pushing him away. Yumi and her gang of friends always disappeared off somewhere, making William suspicious.  
After that, they all became friends for a short time, but that wasn't to last. William had disappeared, which at the time, destroying her, fearing he left for good. She had later heard that he just went on an overseas trip and then got the flu. This was relief to her because he would come back, but she was still worried.  
But when he came back, he was way different. He acted like the school idiot even though she had known William to be smart. He took every figure of speech literally. Everyone thought he had lost his mind.  
After the whole oddball phase, just a couple days ago he changed for the worst. Sure, he still looked handsome beyond all her temptation like he always did. But he changed so much in only a couple days. Yumi and the her friends had began ignoring him for some reason, obviously hurting him badly.  
He became depressed and isolated himself away from everyone. He started acting colder than ice and darker than this night. None of it added up and all it did was make her spiral into mass confusion. She couldn't even recognize him anymore.  
The William that stood before her wasn't the same William knew and loved.  
William looked at her with cold and icy eyes, a look that he never gave her before. But nowadays, this look was was one of the looks William gave to everyone. He said, irritated, "Why do you care?"  
She knew he wanted to be left alone, but if she did, her heart wouldn't let her live it down. "I just wanted to help you..." She spoke softly in almost a whisper.  
"It's not your business!" He said bitterly, raising his voice.  
"B-But I..." She squeaked out.  
"Just leave me the hell alone!" William shouted at her in all the anger he had held in. He stormed up from the bench and jumped at the her, roughly grabbing her wrists. The force of all of this pushed them to the hard ground with him dominating over her.  
In the same instant, the weather only got worse. Lightning flashed and thunder roared in the sky. The weather only increased in it's intensity in every way.  
"W-William...that hurts..." She struggled and tried to get free from his strong grip, but failed. Tears began overflowing out of her dark blue eyes and rolled down her face like the Nile River. Her body was trembling like an earthquake and she was scared out of her wits. Her whole body began aching a stinging pain. She felt paralyzed because she was hurting so much she couldn't move without bringing on even more pain.  
But somehow, even in the midst of all of it, she couldn't blame him for it.  
She wanted to help him...  
"Why do you care so much?!" He demanded angrily.  
"Because...I know you're a good guy..." She replied, feeling only a little hope in her heart. It was only a little, but it was enough to where she believed.  
His face softened a little. He desperately wanted to believe her words, but it all seemed too hopeless.  
She was a really good person, even if she had a really dark demeanor.  
He was well aware of her feelings towards him, but he didn't know what to think of them. He didn't love or hate them.  
He knew deep down that some part of him wanted to let her in but another part didn't, so he couldn't bring himself too. So he tried harder to push her away.  
"The William you knew died long ago, Kandadara. You can't do anything for me now." He said sadly. With that, he released his grip on her and got off of her.  
His words hurt her much more than words could say. When he said that, she really wanted to believe otherwise, but he seemed dead serious. The look on his face only scratched the surface of how hurt he really was.  
He held out a hand to her and helped her stagger to her feet.  
William looked at her with a great sadness, but all he could say was, "Just go, okay...?"  
Kandadara looked back at him with that same sadness, but she could only say, "I'm sorry, William..."  
With that, she disappeared from his sight in an instant and went back to her dorm room bursting in tears.  
William just stood in that winter's storm and guilt began overwhelming his mind.  
He knew very well that he did her wrong. He treated her just as bad as Yumi and her friends had treated him. Of course he felt really bad about it.  
"I'm sorry, Kandadara..." He said softly into the open, knowing she couldn't hear him.  
All he could do was inwardly curse himself as he silently walked back to his dorm room.  
He knew what he had to do.

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**So what do you think of my story? Do you think it's good? Please R&R! Thanks!  
**

**-Alyisha**

**Edit 6/4/12: I deleted a few chapters because I thought the plot wasn't going as I wanted it to. But I'm redoing this story and I'll change it up.  
**

**Edit Again 10/7/12: I have changed the point of views from first to third person. I also have written a whole outline of this story from start to finish. I'm going to be doing this for the stories I post here from here on out. As far as my older stories, I'll update them sooner or later. I was on a writers block.  
**

**Edit Yet Again 2/19/13: I added at shit ton of the good stuff in this chapter. I worked hard to make this better, so I hope it's better now.**

**Edit Once Again 3/3/13: I fixed some spelling and grammar errors.**


	2. Routine

**********Okay! I finally updated after working my ass off with trying to improve, edit, and revise this story. Chapter 2 is finally here after several months of multiple writers blocks. I hope this story is better now after all the time I spent working on this.**

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Chapter 2: Routine

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Kandadara ran and ran until she reached her room. When she got there she slammed the door shut, threw herself onto the bed, and cried endlessly.  
William's words constantly rang through her mind like a tape recorder replaying same loop of words over and over again.  
"The William you knew died long ago, Kandadara. You can't do anything for me now."  
She desperately didn't want to believe those words were true, but it seemed to be all too real. She wanted to believe that all of this was just a nightmare and that when she wakes up everything will be fine. She wanted to wake up to William being the William she knew and loved. But no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise, it was the cruel reality.  
She didn't want to admit it aloud, but deep down she knew that he had forever changed.  
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry William..." She repeated softly to herself through all her tears, though she knew he would never hear her.  
So many thoughts spun around in her head all at once.  
'What happened to make William change like this and why did he change the way he did? Will he ever go back to the way he used to be?'  
Somehow, her intuition was telling her something that she couldn't deny.  
'I don't know why, but my gut feeling says Yumi and her friends are behind it all. Why is Yumi and her friends ignoring him like he's worthless? What did Yumi do to break his heart...?'  
She realized something. 'I get it now...He was right...I'm not the one who can help him go back to the way he used to be...There's only one person who can...' Kandadara thought sadly.  
There was only one person who can mend his broken heart.  
"I'm sorry..." She said softly to herself.  
"Sister, what's wrong?" A small girl's voice asked softly, snapping Kandadara out of her spiralling thoughts.  
She rose up to see a smaller version of herself looking at her with concerned dark blue eyes like hers. It was Sayaia, who was sitting up in her bed with her pajama's on.  
Sayaia was Kandadara's little sister. Surprisingly, there was only a little over 1 year age gap between the sisters. Kandadara was 15 in 10th grade and Sayaia was 14 in 9th grade.  
Sayaia had looked almost the exact same as her sister. She had the same pale skin, long black hair, dark blue eyes, hourglass figure, had the tendency to wear ribbons in her hair, and usually dressed in darker clothes, but sometimes they dressed in lighter colors just like Kandadara did. Their personalities were very much alike at that.  
The only differences between the girls was that Sayaia was a little bit shorter, chubbier, and younger than Kandadara. She also wears her hair in low pigtails all the time, whereas Kandadara wears more hairstyles than that.  
Kandadara wiped her tears away with her hand and stared at Sayaia with melancholy eyes. After a few moments, she finally said in a sad tone, "I guess it hasn't been the best night..."  
Sayaia paused nervously as if she was trying carefully think of what to say next. After a moment she spoke softly, "Is it...William?"  
"Yeah..." Kandadara heaved a sigh.  
All Sayaia could say was, "I'm sorry..."  
Not wanting to think about it anymore, Kandadara decided to say to change the subject, "It's late, let's get to bed."  
"Okay...Good night..." Sayaia said softly, laying back down in her bed.  
With that Kandadara went to take the late night shower they both do, put her own pajama's on, and fell into a dreamless sleep.  
Hours had passed by and she woke up it a blaring alarm clock that was so annoying she thought her ears would bleed.  
She groggily got up from her bed and shut off that noisy alarm clock. For a few moments, she just stood blankly into space. The last thing she wanted to do was get up and face the day.  
Sayaia's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, "I think we should get going..."  
"Yeah...we should..." Kandadara replied with a defeated sigh.  
They slowly got up and followed the same boring routine they always did.  
They both got dressed like they did every morning.  
Sayaia put on a mid-thigh length flowery rose print dark purple jumper with a long sleeve lavender blouse and tights under it. She also put on dark purple Mary-Jane style shoes and ribbons with her low pigtails to match the dress.  
Kandadara put on a dark blue butterfly print jumper that went slightly above her knees with a white long sleeve blouse and tights under it. She wore dark blue Mary-Janes to match her dress. Kandadara let her hair completely down and it flowed down to the lowest part of the back.  
After they got dressed, both of them left their dorm room to find a long line of girls waiting to get into the bathroom and showers. It was like usual.  
Though there were plenty of shower stalls where you could shower by yourself, bathroom stalls to do your business, mirrors to apply makeup or check hair, and sinks to do the typical stuff like brush teeth or wash hands, it was always held up by Sissi Delmas.  
Sissi, because she's the principal's daughter, always thought she had exclusive rights. She had made a rule that in the morning that while she was in there, no one else could go in. If someone did, she'd tell her father some stupid lie to get that person in trouble and she'd also make said person's life a living hell. As unfortunate as it was, Mr. Delmas always took his daughters side.  
Many girls waited in that line and constantly complained about waiting so long.  
"It's the same thing every morning!" Milly complained, frustrated beyond hell.  
"Yeah, she thinks she's so exclusive to hog it all herself..." Tamiya added in the same tone.  
"I bet the boys don't have to wait like this!" Milly went on complaining as she did everyday.  
"Probably because they don't have Sissi to hog the bathroom..." Tamiya rambled on.  
Emily chimed in on their endless complaining, "I really hate Sissi." She said with distaste.  
"Why does she get all the time in the bathroom?" Heidi joined in.  
"She's so mean to me." Naomi sighed sadly.  
"I hate waiting every morning for this." Anais threw in.  
"Talk about annoying..." Claire sighed in frustration.  
"I hate waiting..." Magali complained just like the others.  
"This is so lame..." Sandra said to herself.  
"This sucks." Valerie said, putting her hand on her forehead.  
A lot of the other girls did the same amount of complaining.  
Aelita softly said to herself, "Yumi's so lucky she's not a boarder..."  
Inwardly, Kandadara thanked the fact that she and her little sister Sayaia showered late at night when there's fewer people and they never had to worry about disturbances.  
But of course, they still had to brush their teeth in the morning. But they never waited in that long line of hell; they just went to one of the girl's bathrooms to do that. Plus, if they had to, they could also use the bathroom without waiting.  
With that, they walked to the cafeteria to get their breakfast and sat down by themselves like they always did. It was just the same routine day in and day out.  
A couple minutes later, William walked into the room to get his breakfast like he always did. The whole aura around him was depressing.  
In the instant he came in, Kandadara felt her heart started to going crazy like a jackhammer inside her chest and her stomach going nut in a gut-wrenching way. She put her head on the table and buried it with her face with her arms.  
She couldn't stand to see him so depressed. It destroyed her to see him as devastated as he was.  
But unknown to her, William noticed the subtle hiding from him that she just did. Somehow, it just irritated him, but he decided to shrug it off.  
He scanned the room to find a seat. His eyes automatically fell to a group of 5 people that were once his friends. There was 1 empty seat, but he knew that it was useless to ask.  
For a moment, he looked in all of them in general and then his eyes fell to Yumi. His longing eyes of love met her cold eyes of hatred for a few moments. But he looked away from her and lowered his eyes to the ground in shame.  
The guilt overwhelmed him like that stormy weather did the night before. Just like the horrific nightmares he had every night since he came back. He just couldn't face them anymore because of everything he did.  
With that, he started walking on to find another table and eat alone.  
Kandadara was still in the same position with her head down, but Sayaia had witnessed the silent treatment that the group of 5 gave to William.  
It was the typical routine for that group to give him the silent treatment every single day.  
Sayaia could tell that they only hurt him more and more as the days went by. It was the same routine every time their paths had crossed. If same pattern progressed, William would only go further into the darkness and may never be himself ever again. Sayaia knew that very well. All too well.  
So she decided that she had to be the one to finally change that horrible routine.

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** So what do you think? Is this story better? Please R&R! Thank you!  
**

**-Alyisha**


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